Kun jij goed moppen vertellen of misschien juist helemaal niet? In een andere taal dan het Nederlands is het hoe dan ook vaak lastiger om een mop te vertellen. Toch kan het in sommige situaties handig zijn een Engelse mop paraat te hebben, op een receptie, tijdens een zakendiner of om het ijs te breken. Ik heb er een paar verzameld die je vast kunt onthouden, ze zijn niet te lang en redelijk neutraal.
HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH WITH EASE
Ontdek hoe je je zakelijk Engels zo snel mogelijk up-to-speed krijgt voor jouw rol, functie en werksituatie.
Who are you talking to?
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: ‘Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!’
The voice from the other side responded: ‘You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?
‘No’ replied the trainee.
‘It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!’
The trainee shouted back: ‘And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?’
‘No!’ replied the Managing Director angrily.
‘Thank God!’ replied the trainee and kept the phone down…..
A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.
‘I’d love an ice-cold beer right now,’ he told the genie.
Poof! A beer appeared.
Next, the man said, ‘I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women.’
Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him.
‘Oh, man this is the life,’ the guy thought. ‘I wish I never had to work again.’
And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ‘Can I help you?’
The man said, ‘Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.’
I am the boss
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, ‘I’m the Boss’.
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. ‘Your wife called, She wants her sign back!’
Need some Marketting Lessons?
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, ‘I am very rich. Marry me!’ That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, ‘He’s very rich. Marry him.’ That’s Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, ‘Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.’ That’s Telemarketing.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, ‘I’m rich. Marry me’ She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s Customer Feedback.
Weet jij nog een leuke Engelse mop? Deel hem dan hieronder met ons!